Is it Adultery or Cuckoldry?

Dear Master Shango,

I have a question that I would love to ask you. But before I present you the question, I would first like to share with you my confession story.

For months, I have been cheating on my husband with a co-worker of mine. I use the word ‘cheat’ because it is a more favourable word to use than adultery. Adultery always sounds to me like something ancient and outdated, like a relic of the Stone Age. Yes, I did cheat on my husband. It wasn’t something I was proud of, but for the period that it happened, I had the best fun a woman in her mid-thirties can ever enjoy.

My co-worker and I have been long-time friends, ever since he transferred to our office branch. He is married, but our relationship never went beyond our place of work. He doesn’t know my husband, neither do I know his wife. We had lunch together one afternoon, and that was the day we ended up having sex for the first time.

How did it happen? Mike, my co-worker, said he shared an apartment with a friend not far from our office building. He wanted to go over and make sure the place was secure and asked if I’d like to come. I figured why not, since I had nothing pressing to do.

We got to the apartment, and Mike went about inspecting the rooms while I waited in the living room, feeling tired from the walk. Mike returned and sat beside me. I have no idea what led to us kissing, but that was how things started. We kissed, and then Mike carted me to the bedroom.

We did fuck, and it was incredible. It was worth having lunch together. We concluded our business, cleaned ourselves up, wore back our clothes, and left the building with no shame or guilt—everything felt so ordinary. We returned to our work office, and none of our co-workers suspected anything.

I harboured no regret even when I returned home that evening. I kissed my husband, and we talked about our respective day. I left out the part of me having sex with my co-worker.

Mike and I had lunch two days later. We talked about what we had done, and he, too, said he didn’t have any regret. He asked if I wouldn’t mind us fucking again, to which I said why not. We finished our meal, then went and had sex at his friend’s apartment again. There was no rush this time—we took out time and gave each other exquisite pleasure. I made guttural, animalistic noises that I never knew existed in me. He pounded me from behind, grabbed my hair, and fucked me like I hadn’t been fucked in a long while.

Don’t get me wrong, my husband and I have a fantastic relationship; it wasn’t my wish to want to hurt him. But this was sex, and I needed it badly. I didn’t bear any guilt towards that.

Weeks passed and Mike and I were carrying on with our clandestine relationship. Sometimes we won’t even meet for lunch. We began having our lunch separately so as not to arouse suspicion, and then meet later at his friend’s apartment. Wouldn’t you know that the entire time, I never encountered his friend there. I don’t know if the apartment had been a ruse to bring me there to fuck, or if maybe he does this with other women besides me. I really didn’t matter because I enjoyed the way things were going.

I began having a peculiar weakness towards Mike: I was enjoying our time together than I was with my husband. It never occurred to either of us to discuss how far we intended to take things. Months later, we weren’t just having sex during lunch hours, but were meeting at other places to continue our sex romp. I would head out to the supermarket on several weekends and meet with Mike in some secluded spot for sex. He always wore a condom, and he never failed to discard the evidence once we were done.

Then came a fateful day that I got careless. It was a Saturday. Mike texted me that he had some appointment out of town and won’t be able to meet me. My husband read the text while I was in the bathroom taking a shower. He presented me the text when I came out, and asked what was going on.

I got busted that day, and decided to do the honest thing of coming clean about my secret affair with my co-worker.

I expected my husband to get horrifically mad when I finished talking. He was initially upset, but that didn’t last. Later, he began quizzing me about the times Mike and I fucked at the apartment and elsewhere. He was interested in the various sexual positions we did, how well I enjoyed it, and even inquired about who usually climaxed first. I realised he was taking genuine pleasure in everything I told him. My husband frightened me further when he expressed his desire of wanting to meet Mike, and even expressed an urgent wish of wanting to watch us having sex.

That is my story that I wanted to share with you. And now comes the question that I want to ask you: when it comes to my husband wanting to watch me in bed with my lover, when is it considered adultery and when is it cuckoldry?